I Really Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Participate in Halloween (So I’m Not)

The last time I dressed up for Halloween, it was 2010 and I had just moved to New York City to pursue my master’s at NYU. I was skinny, naïve, unprepared for city life, and in a ridiculously unhealthy Taylor Swift-esque non-relationship with an older businessman who ended up more or less destroying my faith in mankind for about a year and two-ish months. (Not that I counted.) Ah, youth.

So why am I oversharing with all of this life context?

Because frankly, a general state of personal distress is the only way I can begin to justify the fact that I was a makeshift leprechaun that year.

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Yes, that is a beard. And yes, that is a black athletic tank that I sliced in half, poked holes in, and tied together with a shoelace. Because poor, because grad school. (It was supposed to be a lepre-vest.)

I mean, can we just talk about the fact that I’m 6’3”?

What was I trying to do here? Singlehandedly smash the leprechaun height stereotype? Break the leprechaun glass ceiling? Just confuse people? Or was I supposed to be like, a totem pole of three leprechauns all concealed in one outfit to present the illusion of being human-size? I don’t even know. (But I’m going to go with that last one, because I’ve just decided that it’s borderline genius.)

Other misguided costume choices of mine over the years include Bo Duke, a pregnant nun, Superman and – most often as of lately – That Guy Who Refuses to Dress Up for Halloween but will Happily Spend the Night Watching Scary Movies and Eating Candy in His Pajamas.

And so that will be me again in 2013. I’m thinking it’s for the best, lest I have another stroke of genius and decide to be Verne Troyer or something. (And by “or something,” I obviously mean a totem pole of three Verne Troyers.)

Happy Halloween, y’all!

P.S. Here’s a note regarding the pregnant nun ensemble, because I know you were wondering: It was during one of those summer camp “Halloween in July” things, I was ten years old, and all I had at my disposal was a pillow and accompanying pillowcase. So I improvised. (The fact that Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit was my favorite movie at the time probably also factored in somewhere there.)

P.P.S. While I had put very little thought into the pregnant nun costume at the time, it just occurred to me as I was writing this that I was actually kind of making a poignant socio-religious statement with the whole thing. So maybe I should be allowed to participate in Halloween (thereby changing the world one costume at a time) after all!

P.P.P.S. Or, actually, no. Because candy and pajamas.

 

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Comments

  1. I think you make an awesome leprechaun!!

  2. That’s right…stay home…and make with the candy! lol. Last year I tied up my pyjama top, threw on a tutu, some wings, and a tiara I had lying around (don’t ask) and went as the tooth fairy. Added bonus: already wearing pjs when I got home.

  3. Lepre- can’t!

  4. I even dress up just to hand out candy! 🙂 You should dress up again!! It’s so much fun!

  5. I love that you’re 6’3″ and dressed as a leprechaun! I’m interested in the decision-making process behind that costume choice. Also you’re MacGuyver-like skills in putting the costume together. Very impressive!

    A non-post-related comment: You have lovely curly eyelashes.

    • Haha, RE: both points, thank you!!! And you know, I wish I knew about the lepre-decision making process, but I cannot remember for the life of me! I think it was just like, I saw the green hat on a shelf and went with it. Lol.

  6. I worship the ground you walk on. Taking mundane subject matter, such as a costume you wore many moons ago, and turning it into a LOL piece with DEPTH, with such ease, is something that is truly rare.

    Also, you’re a walking contradiction. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.

    • Like, the biggest walking contradiction ever. It’s funny, one time I remember reading an interview with P!nk (from the “Trouble” era) and she was like, “I’m a walking contradiction!” and then I remember being all like, “Me too, gurl!” in my head. And so, yeah. Aren’t we all, though? Aren’t we all.

  7. Happy Halloween!

    Nic, I must say you look really awesome with a beard and you also look great in green.

    Having said that; I want to celebrate Halloween, but no one wants to celebrate with me. However, I am terrified of scary movies and the like so probably just as well.

    • *Blushing* Thank you, m’darlin’!

      And yeah, abstaining from scary movies DOES have the benefit of a nightmare-free night’s sleep, and that’s always good!

  8. Normally, I’d try to say something supportive in order to coax you back into the Halloween spirit (ha ha) (but it’s my favorite day and I want to force everyone to love it)
    But this time, I just have to say, I think the penguins have you beat: http://imissyouwheniblink.com/2013/10/30/bad-halloween-costumes/

  9. I despise Halloween. Even as a kid i didn’t like it. It embarrassed me. As a leprechaun myself, I want to let you know that you didn’t offend us although we are very jealous of your eyelashes.

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