At Least My Self-Replica Bobble Head Can’t Get Fat

So I have some random, amazing news: I am now the proud owner of a self-replica bobble head. And — since it is a physical object made of plastic, with no emotional eating issues whatsoever — it can never get fat. So now, on some level, I can never get fat. This brings me more comfort than I’ve felt in a long while.

And by “in a long while,” I mean ever.

I should thank my brother’s fantastic girlfriend who BRILLIANTLY thought to herself, “What’s the best gift for a self-absorbed yet low self-esteem-y blogger? Ah! A self-replica bobble head!” and had it designed to reflect my every physical feature.

Y’all. It looks just like me. Which is awesome and slightly creepy. But mostly amazing.

One of the best things about it is that it’s doing an animated, disco-y, Travolta-in-Saturday-Night-Fever-esque move with its left hand. Those who know me in real life can confirm that this is totally apropos.

Note: It has been brought to my attention that in photographs, the raised arm can be vaguely interpreted as Nazi-esque — which I totally didn’t notice myself. Because I’m not antisemitic. But if you are, then please be advised that in real life it’s 100% Travolta and 0% Hitler.

Here it is in my fridge, sandwiched between a bottle of Samuel Adams Winter Lager and a Low-Sodium V8:

fridge

After this initial session proved just how photogenic my replica is, I decided that it deserves a larger platform. So I brought it with me to my office in Times Square.

Here it is being manhandled by Mickey Mouse on my desk:

mickey mouse

Here is a representation of how I think I will feel on the inside if/when I ever get to meet Christina Aguilera in real life:

xtina

And finally, here I am trying to recreate the Leonard DiCaprio “I’m the king of the world!” moment in Titanic — except the exact opposite of that:

times square

Speaking of this photo – do we love the new look around here? I feel like the old set-up was too, like, serious or something. Plus I’ve always wanted my blog to look like American Apparel and Thought Catalog had unprotected sex and popped out a key change. Or something. I’m starting to not make sense again, and that could be because I’m still recovering from the cold that kept me home from work for the better part of the past week.

Stay healthy, y’all!

P.S. I LOVE YOU GUYS. Whoever helped to get me onto this list (see: #29) of the Top 100 LGBT-themed blogs on the web, I’m super touched. You clearly deserve your own self-replica bobble head for having such awesome taste in blogs.

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Comments

  1. quit playing with your bobble head and go see the one lovely blog award i gave you.
    lilly

    • You are getting all kinds of love lately! Deservedly so. People hate on cats a bit too much, if you ask me. Especially condo cats, so I’m glad to see the tides are changing with these blog-awards.

      Thanks for the shout-out again!!! I am truly honored to even be mentioned in the same breath as Woody! Such a huge compliment.

  2. magicpoetry says:

    We love YOU more! But the real you is better than the replica.

    And you totally deserve the honor of being among the top 100 LGBT blogs! #29? Wooh!

    P.S.: Love the pic of NYC in the background! Can’t wait to visit.

  3. Reblogged this on Good Beer Better Hats.

  4. Love the bobble head. I must try to get one made of Wonderbutt. Your brother’s girlfriend is like the best gift-giver EVER! Where were you when you took the last pic? That is an awesome view of NYC. Or is that just the result of some clever photoshopping?

    • On second thought, forget that idea. I just looked up fully customizable pet bobble heads, and they are way out of my price range. Maybe I can just put Wonderbutt’s head on a person’s body?

      • Ha! It’s such a lucrative market. Frankly, I feel like wonderbutt would look amazing as a dog-human, so that could be the ultimate solution. ALSO – that picture was actually taken at one of the intern desks in my office. Yes, that is the view that the interns get — are they not the most spoiled interns ever?! Meanwhile, my view is directly of the Times Square Marriott – and sometimes people don’t close their curtains after emerging from the shower. It’s distracting/disturbing.

  5. I tell you, man, that brother’s girlfriend is 0% Stalin and 100% stupendawesome (new word; patent pending). New look is bobblehead fresh too!

  6. Your bobble head looks hot in those jeans!

  7. hahahahahaha it is doing a nazi move

  8. Ermergerd! You are so famous! And it is of course very well-deserved. I love your bobble head and your blog but I don’t know about the redesign. I mean, I’ll get used to it but I’m sometimes slow to embrace change. I think WP’s changes freaked me out so I’m having a hard time trusting again.

    • It’s true – nothing seems to stay the same anymore! The more I stick with this new look, though, the more obsessed I become with its magazine-y qualities, so hopefully it will grow on you! I totally agree with you on the WP changes, though. Those just suck.

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