So I have some random, amazing news: I am now the proud owner of a self-replica bobble head. And — since it is a physical object made of plastic, with no emotional eating issues whatsoever — it can never get fat. So now, on some level, I can never get fat. This brings me more comfort than I’ve felt in a long while.
And by “in a long while,” I mean ever.
I should thank my brother’s fantastic girlfriend who BRILLIANTLY thought to herself, “What’s the best gift for a self-absorbed yet low self-esteem-y blogger? Ah! A self-replica bobble head!” and had it designed to reflect my every physical feature.
Y’all. It looks just like me. Which is awesome and slightly creepy. But mostly amazing.
One of the best things about it is that it’s doing an animated, disco-y, Travolta-in-Saturday-Night-Fever-esque move with its left hand. Those who know me in real life can confirm that this is totally apropos.
Note: It has been brought to my attention that in photographs, the raised arm can be vaguely interpreted as Nazi-esque — which I totally didn’t notice myself. Because I’m not antisemitic. But if you are, then please be advised that in real life it’s 100% Travolta and 0% Hitler.
Here it is in my fridge, sandwiched between a bottle of Samuel Adams Winter Lager and a Low-Sodium V8:
After this initial session proved just how photogenic my replica is, I decided that it deserves a larger platform. So I brought it with me to my office in Times Square.
Here it is being manhandled by Mickey Mouse on my desk:
Here is a representation of how I think I will feel on the inside if/when I ever get to meet Christina Aguilera in real life:
And finally, here I am trying to recreate the Leonard DiCaprio “I’m the king of the world!” moment in Titanic — except the exact opposite of that:
Speaking of this photo – do we love the new look around here? I feel like the old set-up was too, like, serious or something. Plus I’ve always wanted my blog to look like American Apparel and Thought Catalog had unprotected sex and popped out a key change. Or something. I’m starting to not make sense again, and that could be because I’m still recovering from the cold that kept me home from work for the better part of the past week.
Stay healthy, y’all!
P.S. I LOVE YOU GUYS. Whoever helped to get me onto this list (see: #29) of the Top 100 LGBT-themed blogs on the web, I’m super touched. You clearly deserve your own self-replica bobble head for having such awesome taste in blogs.