A Connecticut Blogger’s Response to Tragedy

Words. Humor. Those are my things, and yet they’re both completely useless right now. I will never be able to wrap my head around what has happened in my state on Friday.

As someone who dreams of one day being a father, my heart is broken.

As someone who still feels like a child on the inside, my heart is broken.

I remember my childhood vividly. Losing my innocence came in small moments — specific episodes along the way in which my sense of security started to slowly wither — one observation, one letdown, one loss at a time. I often put up a fight, but no matter how much I tried to cling to that innocence, those moments still came. And those moments are still coming.

And Friday has been the worst one of all.

I’m heartsick for the children whose beautiful, innocent lives have been stolen from them. And I’m heartsick for the surviving children whose moments have been stolen — as rather than having a future full of them in which to slowly adjust to the harsh realities of the world, they’ve been forced — in an instant — to endure forms of pain, heartache, and tragedy that most people will never know.

But Newtown is filled with love — and love is greater than pain, heartache and tragedy.

I refuse to associate Newtown with tragedy.

I associate Newtown with my college days. Days when I would be stuck in traffic on I-84 on my way to class — when, rather than sit and wait, I’d get off a few exits early, stop at the Church Hill Road Starbucks, and follow the beautiful Newtown back roads into Danbury.

I associate Newtown with the wine shop that my best college friend’s family owns on Mount Pleasant Road. Where they know all of their customers by name. Where “community” is much more than just a word — it’s a natural element of life.

I associate Newtown with love — and I pray that it is at its highest level now as families mourn, friends grieve, and an entire community struggles.

There are no words. There is no humor.

But there is love.

 

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Comments

  1. Beauty.

  2. Reblogged this on Drinking Tips for Teens and commented:
    Keep saying it, my blogger friends…

  3. magicpoetry says:

    Love conquers everything.

  4. Beautifully written. My heart hurts for those families and I have been praying for those sweet innocent children to rest in peace, but also for those left behind to somehow find peace again in their worlds.

    I too tried to find words, but could only focus on treasuring each and every moment with my children. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

    http://littlemisswordy.wordpress.com/2012/12/14/well-see-maybe-tomorrow-weekly-photo-challenge-delicate/

  5. Nicely written. I was thinking about you yesterday.

    I’ve been struggling with this a lot too. I’ve centered my whole career, my whole life, around the belief that everybody is basically good. It’s hard to even know how to go on existing in a world where we have to somehow accept that things like this happen.

  6. It’s hard to find any words right or big or comforting enough in response to such darkness, but you’ve found some. This is beautifully written and so perfectly describes the heartache the world is feeling.

  7. This was so beautifully written, Nic. Memories of peace within a tragedy. Thank you for sharing a part of your life with us. Be well.

  8. “But Newtown is filled with love — and love is greater than pain, heartache and tragedy.” Yes, this. Beautifully written and beautifully true.

  9. Thank you so much for this. Bless you and keep shining your light.

  10. Well said. Thank you.

  11. Nic, This is so sweet and simple. I haven’t read much about the shooting because I can’t, it’s too much. Thank you for writing this. May I reblog?

    xo maggie

  12. Reblogged this on Someone Fat Happened and commented:
    Nic is one of my favorite bloggers and I will continue to rely on others words — mine seem insignificant.

  13. Here from Maggie’s site–thank you for this. Thank you–very, very much.

  14. Beautiful. There IS love. You are correct. Thanks for this. It was beautiful!!

  15. Thanks for sharing. It is a thoughtful and solemn piece.

  16. unfetteredbs says:

    this is exactly how I feel Nic. I am so glad Maggie reposted and I visited. WCSU alumnus here and I have a history in that beautiful town.I am going to close my eyes and think of watching a movie at Edmond Town Hall and going to the General Store– look up at the beautiful tall flag pole with the glorious flag flying high.
    Thanks for sharing these words and for allowing me to as well. It is a lovely ride through this town and I hope the roads are not stained forever

    • Thank you so much for sharing… Those memories are beautiful. I was actually back at our alma mater last night for the tribute — it was an emotional, but necessary, night. Thanks again

  17. Perfect.

  18. “There are no words. There is no humor. But there is love.” Wow! well said. Touching .. Nice Blog to start my day. Would like to re-use a few words giving credit to KeyChangesBlog.

    Keep writing.

  19. Beautifully written – straight from the heart. Follow you now. Thank you. Ciao, Carina

  20. This is one of the most beautiful and heartfelt pieces about Newtown that I have read. Thank you for your sweet, solemn yet up lifting words.

Trackbacks

  1. […] hope you do too, because I don’t think I’m alone. Over the past several days, I’ve heard and read words from lot of people struggling to deal with the sheer awfulness of Newtown, trying to make […]

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