That Time I Fell in Love with a Stranger (Again)

As you may or may not already know, I kind of have this problem where my main goal in life is to find and wed the real-life gay version of Mad Men lothario Don Draper — despite the fact that I’m fairly certain he doesn’t actually exist.

Or at least I was fairly certain that he doesn’t actually exist until last week when my friend Kendra and I totally ran into him on the ice rink in Rockefeller Center and subsequently discovered that he is a closet Mariah Carey fan with a really nice neck who enjoys bopping to Christmas carols.

Allow me to explain.

Kendra and I were lucky enough to make it onto the guest list for the taping of Mariah’s Christmas at Rockefeller Center performances last Tuesday, and that is where we discovered Don Draper Guy II. (For those who don’t already know: the original Don Draper Guy.)

Mariah is a deity. A blurry deity, but still a deity.

                            Mariah is a deity. A blurry deity, but still a deity.

Don Draper Guy II (hereinafter referred to as DDGII) first caught my eye because of his tall height, dark brown hair, and distinguished facial features that revealed absolutely nothing about his age. (Seriously –  we couldn’t tell if he was 19 or 43. We ultimately settled on a hypothesis of about 27, but really remained clueless throughout the evening. And to this day, for that matter.)

What really won me over, though, was his hot and manly Draper-esque neck.

Isn’t it crazy how man-necks can be so sexy sometimes? No? I have a weird fetish for necks? Stop judging me! You’re the one who reads blogs written by neck-fetish-harboring freaks with self-esteem issues. Weirdo.

Anyway, Kendra was similarly smitten with DDGII, so our entire evening pretty much evolved into a really intense game of Gay, Straight, or European? that Kendra seemed to keep winning at because of DDGII’s masculine demeanor. But then we’d both remember that we were at a Mariah Carey show and suddenly I would be back in the game.

Another game we played was Creepily Stalk the Hot Guy, at which I’m pretty much an expert by now.

In our efforts to keep tabs on DDGII, we:

  • risked our lives at a crosswalk,
  • positioned ourselves at a spot in the crowd that had a slightly obstructed view of Mariah (but a perfectly framed view of DDGII’s neck), and
  • did a few other things that I’m not proud of and refuse to divulge publicly.

As Mariah was about to appear onstage, I longed to initiate conversation with him – both to mitigate the creepiness of my stalking and also to get the ball rolling on our wedding preparations (I had some great ideas involving September 2013, swans, and Maine that I wanted to run by him).

Then I got all depressed because I realized that Kendra and I still didn’t have a clear winner in our game of Gay, Straight, or European? and I was starting to lose hope.

And then he started enthusiastically rocking out to Mariah’s holiday gem “All I Want for Christmas Is You.”

Score!

Needless to say, I interpreted DDGII’s bopping as conclusive evidence of his open gayness. And also as confirmation of the fact that we have “mutual interests.”

And also as his acceptance of my whole marriage proposal/wedding suggestion.

Nic. DDGII. September 2013. Swans. Maine.

Get ready, y’all.

P.S. I should clarify that Kendra and I never actually had a real conversation with DDGII. Though he did throw a chuckle her way at one point in the evening.

P.P.S. It just occurred to me that DDGII chuckled only at Kendra and not me. He’s totally straight, I’m fat, and the wedding’s off. DAMMIT!

 

Advertisements

Comments

  1. This is why I come here: to learn that Gay, Straight or European is a thing. Day = complete

  2. I was just there and of course, didn’t see Mariah. Although I think I saw Scott Baio in a diner.
    He loved you, he was trying to get in with you by buddying up to Kendra.

  3. UM, I have always thought my boyfriend’s best feature is his neck.

    Don’t blame you about the wedding plans- You gotta book that shit in advance!

  4. magicpoetry says:

    Don’t worry; I, myself, am a big fan of necks. Men’s necks are amazing! I also know a bunch of others who feel the same way. You are not alone.

    Seeing as you are crushing on strangers again, which by the way is totally relatable, what happened to Mr. Awesome? I have (had?) a good feeling about him!

    And how was Mariah? The picture is blurry, but it looks like a blast. Hope she rocked it.

    Really living in my own little bubble these days with book preparations and what not and struggle just keeping a sentence clear in my head. Thank goodness for you! Your blog are my best stress relief! 😉

    • magicpoetry says:

      *is

    • I love that you also love necks! Clearly this is one of those things that are totally normal, and I’m not a freak. Thank God for Keychanges for leading to this revelation.

      I’ve been meaning to follow-up blog about [Awesome Guy] – I’m going to do that soon! And Mariah was amazing as always, I love that woman!

      Side note: I’m so excited for evol!!!

  5. naturallyinappropriate says:

    Maybe he’s European, in which case you could possibly turn him? Maybe he’s just looking for the perfect ‘Nic’!

  6. I’ll have to take extra care to check out my man’s neck when he gets home — I’m usually distracted by, ahem, other things. (His EYES. I meant his EYES. And… well, a lot of other things. I’m a lucky lady.) And I’m also so distracted by my thesis I’d be in severe danger of missing my own Mystery Don Draper connection. It’s getting so bad I might not even notice Christina Hendricks in all her glory if she pranced by right now. SIGH.

    And I bet DDGII is out there with a glass of scotch writing a blog post about how he wished he chatted up this great guy he saw the other day, and is hoping he’d like swans in the wedding plans. There’s always hope!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: