Wilson Cruz Responds to Prada Post; Nic Cheats on Chipotle with Lesser-Known Sandwich Shop ‘Wichcraft

It seems that I am now on a full-out crusade to accumulate as many marriage proposals via Twitter as humanly possible… because I’m that needy.

Chipotle started it.

So. Because he’s awesome, Wilson Cruz (aka Rickie from My So-Called Life, aka that gay guy that you loved in He’s Just Not That Into You) read my last post. In it, I discussed how I failed at stalking Wilson at the Met and was upset about having lost out on the chance to tell him how much I adored his 1997 Ally McBeal cameo.

Through the perfection of Twitter, he responded:

Not quite a marriage proposal, but I’m glad that he appreciates the love.

I countered with, “And I’m now complete! Twitter is so ideal,” hoping he’d come back with something like, “Nic, will you marry me?”

Instead, I got this disappointingly apropos reply:

I’m still trying to figure out if I could viably make the argument that the subtext of Isn’t it? could be something to the effect of I love you too and would like for us to get married and adopt international babies within the next two years. Feel free to share your thoughts.

Later that day, I was having a Twitter-discussion with Ginger Clark (fiction literary agent extraordinaire at Curtis Brown) about the deliciousness of sandwich mini-chain ‘wichcraft.

Naturally, this ended up happening:

I of course responded with an emphatic “I DO!”

Within moments, the folks at ‘wichcraft officially weighed in and gave their blessing:

I’m sorry, Chipotle. While I have never been unfaithful in a human relationship, it seems I have less self-control when it comes to anything edible.

But this we knew.

(Between myself and Kristen Stewart, this was not a good week for monogamy.)

I find it hilarious that my second-ever proposal, just like my first, came from the official Twitter account of a casual dining establishment.

Though, I guess this wasn’t really ‘wichcraft proposing to me as much as it was Ginger officiating my marriage to a BLT and ‘wichcraft just offering lukewarm congratulations.

But I’ll totally take it.

Though an unambiguous Twitter-proposal from a real-life gay man would be nice.

…WAIT!

I must retract everything I’ve just written, because it just occurred to me that I have been proposed to via Twitter — explicitly and by a real-life gay man! It happened weeks ago, and I totally forgot to tell y’all.

The best/most surreal part: it came from one of my all-time favorite authors, Joel Derfner (read my review of his book Swish here) after he read “Not OK, Cupid.”

Marry me at once. No ambiguity there! (And yes, of course I will.)

(For clarity’s sake, I should mention that Joel was merely being polite. He is actually happily gay-married in real life. I’m only like, 98% jealous.)

It’s funny that the best Twitter marriage proposal I’ve received to date actually occurred before I ever even started desperately trying to accumulate them. It seems that when it comes to the quest for marriage proposals, trying = failing.

Or rather, trying = succeeding at finding love and companionship in food items only.

Thanks, universe — message received. (Again.)

 

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Comments

  1. The headline for this blog post felt as if taken from TMZ.

    Glad to see you’re getting all loved up on Twitter! Do they find your blog posts or are you whoring yourself out? 😉

    Either way; how can anyone NOT love you?

    Love you and your blog!

    • Haha love you too darling!

      And to answer your question – it is a combination. I’m definitely doing a lot of whoring, as I clearly lost all shame after admitting to my intense desperation/mental illness in Not OK, Cupid.

  2. Wow, we have a lot more in common than I already knew… Well, not really. But we both read/loved Swish! I emailed joel derfner via facebook, and he responded to me. It was pretty magical. I’m gonna stalk you on Twitter now. kthanxbi

    • Haha so glad Twitter connection has been established. And yeah – Joel Derfner is pretty amazing! Swish was perfection.

  3. My position on sandwich marriage – any two consenting adults or sandwiches, or combination thereof, should be allowed to live in wedded bliss.

  4. Wait, wait, WAIT a goddamn minute. Did you go ahead and confess your love for Wilson Cruz? Because, honestly–you just need to do it. Just get it all out there in the clear, and motherfucker can’t POSSIBLY say no.

    • You’re SO RIGHT. I just realized that I really gave Wilson no reason to believe that I was seeking a proposal at all. Damnit, why can’t these Twitter personalities read minds?!

Trackbacks

  1. […] here are a few trivial moments that punctuated my year, in the form of would-be tweets that could never actually happen because of character limits and the fact that I’m incapable of […]

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