Strangers on a Commuter Train

First of all.  I am aware of how ridiculous it is that I started this awesome blog, garnered a few awesome readers after writing a few awesome posts about my awesome summer in Nashville… and then abandoned it once my real life resumed.

That was so not the intention.

But The Apartment Hunting Debacle of 2011 happened, and that kind of took over every aspect of my life.  It also forced me to spend a month traveling between Connecticut and New York five days a week.  The daily bitch of a commute combined with my final year of grad school and an internship in the music department of a major television network has turned me into the most unreachable human alive.

The good news is that I finally found a new place in Manhattan that meets my ridiculous standards!  So I can now devote the four hours a day I have been spending in my car/on the Metro-North train daydreaming about Alexander Skarsgard naked to more important things in life — like maintaining this blog and re-watching Ally McBeal DVD’s.

To kick off my renewed blogging schedule (I’m thinking a solid once a week), I figured I would start with a story that’s been going on for about three weeks now and has joined “dark chocolate cravings” on the list of things that I think about on a bi-hourly basis.  It is called:

Nic and Lenovo-Guy: A Tragic Love Story

One rainy Monday morning a week or so ago, I was sitting quietly on the Grand Central Station-bound Metro-North train from New Haven as it made a local stop in Fairfield, where more commuters joined the party.

Up until this point, I had engaged in my usual behavior of taking up a two-seater with my book bag and an array of Dunkin Donuts breakfast items.  Strategic placement of this luggage coupled with a mildly unapproachable facial expression is usually an effective method of ensuring that no one tries to sit with me.  It’s not that I’m anti-social; I just find that it’s in everyone’s best interest to limit my interaction with other humans before 10:00 am.  I think that’s fair.

In any case, this was a particularly crowded train.  Within seconds, I was approached by a tall man in a yellow raincoat whom I tried not to look at.  However, I could no longer pretend that he didn’t exist once he said “Is anyone sitting here?” for the second time in a row.  I reluctantly responded honestly and offered him the seat.

As he removed his raincoat and placed it in the overhead bin, I got a better look at him.

Oh.  Em.  Gee.

The man who had so brazenly interrupted my morning alone time was a freakin’ dreamboat.  I’m talking lean muscle mass, flawless bone structure (sound familiar?) and great hair — all packaged in a nice three piece suit that did wonders for his totally squeezable ass.

Now that a hot professional man was sitting beside me, I suddenly became acutely aware of my every move — as if he were paying close attention and waiting for me to scratch my face in just the right way so as to signal that it was okay for him to go ahead and just start making out with me.

However, it became clear that we may not have been on the same page when I noticed from the corner of my eye that he was in fact paying no mind to my existence.  Instead, he was busily typing away on his laptop, which I couldn’t help but notice was a Lenovo. 

After mentally excusing him for using a PC, I started thinking of creative ways to initiate a conversation.  I got carried away and ended up daydreaming the following exchange:

  • Me: “Hey there.  Nice Lenovo.”
  • Him: “Oh, I’m really a Mac guy.  This is just my work computer.  By the way, I’m a wealthy investment banker.”
  • Me: “Oh, I see…”
  • Him: “I love you.  Let’s move in together and get gay-married!” (Moves in for romantic kiss.)

I’m pretty sure he was straight, but still.

Regrettably, we ended up not speaking for the entire train ride while I listened to Mariah on my headphones and he typed away on his Lenovo.

Fast forward to this past Tuesday night on the Metro-North, this time heading back to Connecticut from New York.  As per usual on rush hour evening trains, I was relaxing in a window seat trying not to acknowledge the existence of whoever it was sitting next to me as I sipped on Merlot from a plastic cup.

Yes, I drink on the train.  Usually just a couple of those mini-wine bottles, but sometimes I’ll be ghetto and have a straight up forty of Bud.  I wish I was kidding, but drinking on the train is probably the only thing that has kept me remotely sane during this whole experience.

…What?

Anyways, after a few minutes of riding side by side, I inevitably glanced in the direction of the man to my right.  And there was a Lenovo in his lap!!!  I surreptitiously scoped out the rest of him.

Verified.  It was Lenovo-Guy.

Oh.  Em.  Gee.

Of all the thousands of commuters who take the many Connecticut trains that depart from Grand Central Station every 30 minutes, somehow Lenovo-Guy and I ended up not only on the same train, but next to each other in a two-seater — again.

This was clearly a sign from God, so I decided to just go for it and strike up a conversation.  Here’s what happened:

  • Me: “So –“

He looked my way.

Silence.

Rather that follow up my “so,” with an actual question or comment, I got all nervous and awkward.  I decided to clear my throat and start fidgeting with my phone so as to indicate that I was clearly not talking to him.

He went back to his Lenovo and I kept drinking my wine, supremely embarrassed.

  • Note: this was weird, as I’m usually quite social — even around hot investment bankers.

The only thing I learned from this whole experience is that I hate Lenovo computers.  When I’m old and fat and alone with no one to love but my five cats, I will blame Lenovo and potentially take legal action.

 

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Comments

  1. Hahaha! This is just too funny and I’m so glad you’re blogging again because I needed my fix of Nick humor.

    Typical that you didn’t dare to approach him. Sounds oh so familiar to all of us though, I’m sure. You never know though, judging by how this is going, you’ll meet him again this week seat to seat. Maybe in 6 months you’ll be cheek to cheek, and in a year, lips to lips? Who knows about Destiny, huh?

    If not: Mine and Whatisfortytwo’s offer STILL stands… *cough*

  2. I love that you assume all hot men are straight, and I assume they’re all gay. We should just always hang out together, then at least one of us wins each time.

  3. Yes, you are awesome. That makes me one of your few awesome readers reading another awesome post. Welcome back.

  4. Cringe, fix that you’re to your for me, will ya? ❤

  5. Yay! You’re back! About time too!

    As usual, you had me in splits. I have a question for you- do you find yourselves in these funny situations all the time, or do you just manage to give a humourous spin to everything which seems to be happening?

    And, absolutely love the Oh.Em. Gee. touch. It was fantastic. Also, I don’t blame you for wanting to drink Merlot on the Metro. I did this 3 hour/day commute for a month in Mumbai once and it drove me batty. Unfortunately, it takes a lot of effort to just stand up straight, so there is no chance of drinking en route. But yes, it would definitely have helped me maintain my sanity.

    I think you both are destined to be together. There is just too much coincidence here. What are the odds, really?

    Just once a week? That’s too little *sobs* *tantrum*

    Me want more!!

    • OMG You know my pain! Commuting is such a nightmare, I applaud you for making it a month without any booze! 🙂

      Oh and to answer your question — I think it’s a little bit of both, LOL.

      Thanks so much for the love, darling!

  6. My favorite part of this entire entry is that your first tagged word is “rejection.”

  7. I am just picturing you sitting there drinking on US public transportation, laughing. Excellent idea though – drinks surely would make public transpo in this country far less terrifying and disgusting.

    • Haha RIGHT!? Most Metro-North trains actually have booze stands right there at the track, which is fantastic. More train lines need to follow suit! lol.

  8. “couple of those mini-wine bottles, but sometimes I’ll be ghetto and have a straight up forty of Bud”…Classy. I try to get away with this at the park while my toddler plays. Those moms are just so fussy 🙂

  9. You should have talked to him! When something like that happens, I always think, “I should just take the chance and DO it, and if I embarrass myself it won’t even matter because I’ll never see him again.”

    Except…you DID see him again.
    I take it you’re an east-coaster? I just moved to Pittsburgh for college =)

Trackbacks

  1. […] you love how I claimed that I would start blogging once a week and then suddenly disappeared from the blogosphere for yet […]

  2. […] my last post, I realize that it was just a wee-bit lugubrious. Probably because I’m alone and miserable and on the verge of a breakdown. Plus I finally finishing reading Borrowed Time last week, so […]

  3. […] old posts. Specifically, the one about the time I saw my hot would-be husband (affectionately named Lenovo Guy) on the Metro-North train twice in one week but couldn’t bring myself to talk to him because […]

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