OkCupid is Riddled with Psychos, and I’m One of Them

okc

There’s no easy way to say this, so here it goes: My friend and I have a ghost OkCupid account. I know, it’s weird and we need therapy. But this fake profile has proven itself to be immensely helpful and afforded us opportunities that simply don’t exist when playing by the standard OkCupid rules – including but not limited to:

  1. Stalking people without having them know that YOU are the one visiting their profile five times per hour day.
  2. Seeing what your real profile looks like to outsiders, and if it is listed as “replies often” or “replies selectively.”
  3. Spending inordinate amounts of time browsing profiles on the site. (Doing this from your real profile would cause your “Last Online” meter to perpetually read “Online Now,” making you look like a desperate person who probably has four cats and a freezer full of ice cream/maybe eight DiGournos – and that’s just not ideal.)

The other day I logged into this secret weapon in order to check out some dude’s pictures, and inevitably ended up combing through the profiles of every gay man in Connecticut (because what else is new?).

And then I came across a page that was hilarious, well written, and actually fun to read. And – bonus! He was really cute.

Unaccustomed to such compelling content on the site, I decided it was imperative that I send him a message. I spent a good twenty minutes coming up with something that referenced the things I liked most about his profile while simultaneously introducing myself as someone who is funny, well-read, and totally worth his hand in marriage.

Sent.

And then I went to check our compatibility match and saw that we were rated as 50% enemies. That’s weird, I thought, we’re so similar.

AND THEN.

I looked to the top of my screen and came to the earth-shattering realization that I had sent the message from the ghost account! (The ghost account, mind you, is a straight man from Tennessee with no pictures.)

Unsure of whether or not to cry or laugh or scream bloody murder, I did all three.

I tried to ask myself, “What would a normal person do to fix this?” but instantly realized that a normal person would never be in this predicament to begin with. Then I tried to ask myself, “WWJD?” but realized that Jesus would never need to create a ghost account in the first place because he’s Jesus and would probably just be like “I’m the son of God and I’m going to browse anonymously right now, and you’re going to be fine with that – okay, Cupid?”

So then I evaluated my realistic options:

  1. Send the exact same message from my real account and pray that he’d just chalk up the duplicate message to a strange OkCupid glitch.
  2. Come up with a brand new message to send him from my real account – one written in a markedly different tone than the one sent from the fake account – and hope that he’d just be like, “Hm. Two guys named Nic in the same day. Weird.”
  3. Say this: Hey – I’m about to come off as the creepiest person ever, but well, my friend and I have a ghost OkCupid account for stalking purposes… and I just accidentally sent you a message from it. I know. I need therapy. But the thought of formulating a NEW message that didn’t involve anything from the sent-from-creepy-TN-profile original message was too daunting, so I’m just coming clean.

Inexplicably, I somehow decided that number three was the best option and I sent it and I KNOW – anyone on the receiving end of a message like that should absolutely be cautious that the sender is a psychopath and probably block him or her.

In the heat of the moment, though, I ridiculously expected that he would see it and be like, “Wow, I admire this guy’s honesty. He’s keeping it real. He’s also handsome and brilliant!” and then message me with something to the effect of, “Hey, thanks for the message. You seem like someone I could spend the rest of my life with, probably. Totally okay about the ghost account; I understand. Let’s meet up for a drink sometime and maybe get married?”

Instead, I got this: Haha. Well, this profile is very different from the other.

Polite, but doesn’t exactly open the floor for me to respond with anything at all. The subtext was obviously very I’ve-seen-both-messages-and-you’re-crazy-but-I’m-just-going-to-give-a-dead-end-response-now-so-that-you-don’t-continue-to-stalk-me, but really, the fact that he responded at all is probably more closure than I deserve in this whole scenario anyways, so I guess on some level I got lucky.

What did I learn from this experience? A few things:

  1. I’m the biggest contradiction ever. Like, my sending of the overly honest second message was clearly me trying present this whole, “I’m just going to be so real with you right now. I’m that kind of person – I’m impulsive and transparent and don’t care what people think. I’m just doin’ me!” vibe to him – but someone who doesn’t care what others think would never create a ghost profile in the first place, so, yeah.
  2. Sometimes, when trying to make yourself not seem like a crazy person even though you are, it’s okay and extremely necessary to lie and take the secret with you to the grave.
  3. Life would be so much easier as a non-crazy person to begin with. (But how to become one?)

Oh and also – I really, really need to stop trying so hard.

But this we knew.

 

Comments

  1. I’m so glad my single days were pre-Internet…

  2. magicpoetry says:

    Best blog post you’ve done in a while. LMAO!!

    OkCupid seems to bring out the best (or worst?) in you. And I dig it!

    I do however remember having done something similiar once or twice myself. That’s why the golden rule of ALWAYS checking twice or ten times more is SO important!

    :p

  3. A response that you could have written back in reply – would be “different indeed – but which one do you fancy ;-)” this would give him something to think about – and the response back would set you on your route ‘to marriage’ or to ‘more cheesecake and your cabinet doors trying to kill you’.

  4. I have legitimately thought about starting a blog called “No, it’s not f*#%ing ok, Cupid” for all of my terrible OKCupid stories.
    Pretty sure I would break the internet with the number of stories I have…

  5. I love you so much that I wish I were a gay man in connecticut. Online dating sucks bad sucking things. What pissed me off was “really dude? You’re too good to respond to me? YOU are???”

    You dear Nic are a gay male Bridget Jones shimmying back up the fire pole.

    Why don’t you and Calhoun write a blog together??

  6. This is amazing.

  7. This makes me sad, as I know from my friend’s eHarmony account that funny and well-written IS so hard to come by. Oh well, wasn’t meant to be. Love the idea of the fake account.

    • Thank YOU – it made me sad too! Like, this guy has no idea how normal I am, because all he knows about me is that I’m the crazy person with a fake stalking account who openly admits to having one. It’s like, the definition of sad.

  8. Oh. Oh, guy. I think the ghost account thing is kind of a brilliant idea. Minus the accidental messages :)

  9. Funny, smart, and hot are rare these days! I say it’s his loss if he never replies again.

  10. sortaginger says:

    I have two cats and some french bread pizzas in the freezer. So, now how do I set up a ghost account? ;-)

  11. Hey – why don’t you send him a link to this blog and he’ll see that you got Freshly Pressed and tons of people “like” you and then you will be BEYOND normal – you know, like doing a 380, spinning all the way around the weird-o-meter until you come out AWESOME. I think this is a brilliant idea, and if I ever get up the nerve to get on a dating site, I will create a ghost account and do this whole thing just so that I can get Freshly Pressed and then send the link to the guy I weirded out. You gotta do this, Nic. It’s like, the forever-love guy. Don’t give up – you were right to choose option 3 and be honest!
    Congrats on the FP – now use it!

  12. Haha this gave me a good laugh.

  13. Too funny! Great blog and awesome!

  14. Wanna go out sometime? :)

  15. oh my gosh, this was too funny! i’ll have to share with all my okay cupiding friends!

  16. All of a sudden one rather feels for the straight men without pictures from Tennessee who have profiles on Ok Cupid…

  17. I swear the same thing happened to me but on Facebook. And with a guy I knew AND went on a date with once. And got blew off by :'(

  18. Hahaha! I am so happy to have stumbled upon your blog. This is one of the funniest and bad ass posts I’ve read in a while. As an ex-online dater, I feel for you and your mishap but hey, lessons learned, right? AND carry on, have faith.. No joke — I met my husband online, too… ON CRAIGSLIST. Yeah! Thank goodness he didn’t turn out to be a “CL Killer,” but we did have a blast watching the Lifetime movie together! ;)

  19. This is great – and one of those things I used to think would only happen to me! Fortunately I’m engaged now and have no need for those sites, but back in the day…lemme tell ya…all the truly crazy crazies were on OK Cupid! (In the context of what I had to deal with, your faux pas comes across as pretty minor, trust me. And I applaud you for choosing option #3. I’d have responded much more positively than this other guy).

  20. This isn’t as funny, but you could make your ghost profile similar to your real profile and then you don’t have to worry about something like this happening again : )

  21. Dude, I totally get it. Once, only fucking ONCE did I try online dating (*on OKcupid, in fact*), and it was a soul crushing experience. It’s a fine line to walk between ‘lonely’ and ‘bag of crazy’ when it comes to that. Glad to see you came out on top. Sorta.

  22. Refreshingly honest. We are all crazy sometimes, especially when it comes to electronic communication…was that a smiley face as in happy or smiley face as in ironic or smiley face as in fake smile…If this was me, I would have taken any response as positive and probably messaged again (I like to beat a dead horse)…glad to have stumbled across this post!

    • Oh my gosh the RIDDLE OF THE SMILEY FACE. I do that daily!! Haha. Glad you can relate to the mental absurdity that can come from online messaging!

  23. It was like watching a bad horror movie. I was reading along and screaming, “NO! YOU ARE ON YOUR GHOST ACCOUNT!”

  24. Thank you for the BEST laugh I’ve had in a LONG time! :) And PS, a girlfriend of mine did this same thing once…many moons ago. She was a “blonde model” from somewhere in the midwest…and OOOH BOY! Did she get some action! Never mind that it was a free account and she never read/opened any of the messages in her in box.

  25. Got to love that app! Check out:
    Cultclassik.wordpress.com

  26. Yes! My fake self could use a companion, ha.

  27. Love LOVE this. I met my husband online and the only reason I picked him (well, 2 reasons really) were 1) he used the word “piqued” correctly in a sentence and spelled it right and 2) the other guy I had narrowed it down to was an attorney and I had just broken up with a psycho one. And I totally think you should send the cute guy the link to this blog. You have nothing to lose and totally everything to gain.

  28. Physically recoiled when I read that you sent from the wrong account. Brilliant writing. I was THERE at the monitor with you. And in my twenties would have been such an option #3 girl. Bravo! (He sounds like a dud… how can he not find you FABULOUS?)

  29. How do you know you weren’t sending these messages to another ghost account?

  30. Nice post, online dating is way after my time, but I can relate.

  31. Oh my goodness…almost died at the WWJD part. You are a hilarious writer! If nothing else, the OKCupid episodes make for excellent stories for the blog, right? I also must give you kudos for the ghost account idea…brilliant!

  32. This is by far the best article I have come across depicting the weirdness on the internet. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  33. Stephanie Martin says:

    Classic…. I could see you in my head when you realized you sent your reply from your ghost account….. Thanks for the chuckle!

  34. I usually like these blogs but I got to be honest. I don’t agree with this blog. Anyone else feel this way?

  35. Hilarious! For the record, I would’ve chosen door no. 3, too. :)

  36. So, I have this friend who just over 5-years ago said that I am the only reason that I am single who ran an OK Cupid profile for me, and she sent me some emails after about two-months. I did wind up dating a really imbalanced musician for awhile from her running a profile for me, and what it yielded is, “I would never run into any of these women organically who I meet on-line.” So, if people take your site seriously, that is sad.

  37. Nope, I disagree 100%. I think this blog is the best thing I have ever found on the blogosphere!

  38. I want to believe a lot more people do this than is openly discussed haha, I’m definitely guilty of having had a ghost facebook account at one point…oops

  39. I initially read this as you sent the message TO your ghost account, and, for whatever reason, were shocked that you were 50% of an enemy with yourself. Your way was much funnier.

    Now your crazy can shine on the FP home page. Please make another post if this post gets you some OKC messages! Wouldn’t that be a happy ending . . . no pun intended.

  40. I made a completely fake OKCupid account, that is NOTHING like me, and intentionally crazy sounding just to see what kind of responses I would get. I found that people seemed to think I was nice and I got some actually sweet responses. Then I felt bad. So I have to wonder how many people on OKCupid aren’t psychos, really. But maybe that’s not a bad thing. We need to find each other somewhere.

    • We’re clearly cut from the same cloth – I would so also be the one to feel bad after inadvertently deceiving the other crazies on OkC.

  41. hlloe

  42. Pretty funny! The categories alone cracked me up.

  43. HAHA this made me laugh out loud a lot. So funny! This is the kind of thing that would happen to me I’m sure! Refreshingly honest :)

  44. Clever blog post, it captured my attention easily, though whose to say we’re not all crazy. No one is sane and those who are clearly need a reality check. “Honesty is the best policy” and all those other cliche sayings are nothing in comparison (or enough closure) for what just occurred. But believe me, things could have gone a lot worse, glad you got lucky!

    • Thank you! And yes – this was the best outcome I could have hoped for at a certain point, haha.

      • I guess worst case scenario would be being blocked, though who’s to say perhaps he wanted the conversation ongoing. You made an assumption based on instinct than giving it a try. And c’mon, who hasn’t lied once about their identity. I own a social networking community for roleplayers and believe me, the people I have are all over 18 and they still create fake identities. Why? Because everyone wishes to be different or they’re simply curious at the outcome of the “fake life”.

  45. Good work on the stalking, maybe names with lights above them to remind you who you are at any given moment :-)

    Jim

  46. hahahaha…can’t stop laughing…your writing is fresh and vivid…i have lived every moment of your travesty…
    One of the funniest ones read in a while though I feel bad for you having lost an opportunity….on thinking again…what the heck…he’s lost out on a great guy…
    better luck (and care) next time…

  47. Good post, I like it! Como visit our site at http://www.surfskiesp.com if you want to know about Ocean Sports! Regards.

    Carlos

  48. ha ha! Really, it is a big realization knowing just how much of a psycho you yourself are!

  49. I had a ghost account so I could stalk the hell out of the guys I was interested in. I only ever used it on a different browser and thankfuly never accidentally mailed from it. My now fiance who I met on okcupid was doing the same thing – we really are a good match! I used to have such a good laugh at the messages I got sent – ‘hey I am doing an essay on curly hair and would love to study yours’. Just looked at my account and I have 82 new messages, most look rater x-rated :/. Good luck with it all.

    • Ha. I clearly just need to find someone else who would have been like “Oh no big, I have a ghost too!” Thanks for sharing and therefore keeping my hope alive!

  50. I admire your honesty lol even if the okcupid person didnt, fairplay to you! lol i hope u meet someone nice soon x

  51. Why didn’t you just tell him you were accidentally logged into your straight friend’s account? Then if you did end up getting married somewhere down the line you could say the friend died.

    (Can you tell I’m highly experienced in getting myself out of extremely awkward situations exactly like this one? :P)

    • That is exactly what my best friend (and the co-owner of the ghost account) said to me after this all happened! I really wish I had y’all on speed dial at that exact moment.

      • Haha, I realised after I posted that I might have just ruined your life. But if you had done that, you wouldn’t have posted such a fun read and been Freshly Pressed, so at least karma’s got your back.

  52. I met my OH on a dating site. You can get real creeps on there

  53. If I were that man I would scoop you up immediately! We are all a little weird and if he can’t admit that and see how much more awesome and brave you are for admitting it and coming clean then he’s probably boring anyway. Actually, the coming clean shows that you so wholeheartedly DO believe in you and have amazing confidence – you just like to do a little undetectable research ;) Bravo!

  54. Superb. This is what I call a “total bodily malfunction”.
    And I applaud it.

  55. Dude. I stumbled upon u- but ur fucking funny! Great post. Tots gonna follow you. You psycho. xx

  56. Hahah! This is hilarious.

  57. Hahaha! I would have done in the same thing in choosing number 3. It’s probably for the best, then. You want someone who can roll with the punches!

  58. I have just fallen in love with you!
    OKC had turned me into a psycho as well, but without it, what ever would I write about?
    I once created a fake account (well sort of fake) that ONLY listed my BAD, dysfunctional qualities. I looked like a total lunatic.
    You wouldn’t believe the response that I received!
    Many from guys that I think wanted to take advantage of an imbalanced girl, but many others that seemed to relate to my fuckedupedness…
    It was an interesting social experiment.
    http://reflectionsuponmyskin.blogspot.com/

    • Thank you for the love and ALSO for giving me ideas, haha, I kinda wanna make my “worst self” profile and see what happens!

      • Do it!
        There are people that are equally and exponentially MORE fucked up than you… I guarantee it…
        It’s fun and only slightly evil.
        I’m thinking of doing it again myself.

  59. Love your writing, can relate to the crazy person thing. I’m not really crazy just seems that way sometimes, I worry more about the people not like me.

    I can tell from the couple of weirdly seemingly negative comments you received that they just don’t get it, can’t relate to the state of being single today, gay, straight or like me over 50. Even if you had chosen another option, I can tell you would have been compelled to come clean at some point. It was too good of a story to keep to yourself and thanks for sharing so we know that we are not alone out here. Send the link to the blog, you have nothing to lose!

  60. “Jesus would never need to create a ghost account in the first place ” ahahahaahahahah glad to have come across your blog=) being crazy is much more interesting…normal is relative and overrated. stay crazy!

  61. Reblogged this on Mass Media Journal.

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  63. From the research we’ve conducted at Peeksi.com, it seems that profiles tend to be representations of who the person wants to be and the type of person with whom they want to attract. For instance, if he/she snowboarded last year, suddenly snowboarding is checked as a hobby. If he/she wants to find a successful person, their listed interests/hobbies paint the picture of a world traveler, who ingests nothing but gourmet foods and attends the theater in the highest of fashion every weekend. Not likely ;).

    I loved your writing! And, it is ever so wise of you and your friend to tread carefully in the world of online dating. Have fun with it and live your life in a way that makes you happy! Laughter and love go hand-in-hand.

    And, if online dating doesn’t work for you, definitely don’t despair. Stats show that you are most likely to meet your special someone offline, which is what we are integrating into our own model.

    Good luck in finding that special someone!

  64. Your ghosting is not weird in the least AND I think his response was actually fairly engaging. In a way, he was saying “unlike your other profile, we’re at least 50% friends… great place to start.”

    Write him again!

  65. Reblogged this on aviwears.

  66. haha, this was hilarious! I actually have a ghost account myself. Unfortunately i dont have story to tell about it; its just plain and boring..unlike my real profile. BUT, I usually message myself the urls of the people I find interesting!

    • Messaging the URLS of the interesting ones – THAT is exactly what I should have done in this scenario! Ha. Now I know for next time.

  67. Thanks for the good chuckle–ah, memories! I was “creating accounts” back before the internet, when call-in phone dating programs were all the rage. You had to record a greeting in 30 seconds and make it sexy, yet coy, smart, but approachable, funny, but sane, hip, but above-it-all, receptive, but confident, financially stable, but open to lavish shows of material affection, and throw vague hints through tone of voice alone that your physical endowments were worthy of a five-page Playboy spread. It snagged me an infantile radio DJ and a repressed crane operator. Yee-haw.

    Then along came Photoshop….

    FYI: ghost accounts can be free online therapy for the oppressed. An enigmatic yahoo address can cover the tracks of a nasty tirade launched upon a deserving jerk or jerkette who screwed you on that forum way back when. Not that I’ve tried that. Ahem.

  68. Haha, this was a quite funny post, hope you will send from the right account, next time ;)

  69. Okay, I’m still giggling over this:

    “I tried to ask myself, “What would a normal person do to fix this?” but instantly realized that a normal person would never be in this predicament to begin with. Then I tried to ask myself, “WWJD?” but realized that Jesus would never need to create a ghost account in the first place because he’s Jesus and would probably just be like “I’m the son of God and I’m going to browse anonymously right now, and you’re going to be fine with that – okay, Cupid?”

    At least you got a great story out of it, right? Crazy is so much more entertaining! I wouldn’t shake it if I were you. :)

  70. I’d agree that any response is probably positive – maybe a bit cautious, but positive. It seems like he’s leaving the ball in your court… (but what do I know about dating, I am single after all)

  71. You’ve just given me faith that my thoughts on online daters being crazy (and that I’m NOT the crazy one) are not unfounded. Every date from an online match has been… interesting. The good ones end with a frank ‘I will sleep with you but you have to remove those false nails first and I can’t give you a relationship’ and the bad ones end when you get back to her place (after date FIVE) and find her newly-off-leave paratrooper previously-unmentioned boyfriend waiting naked for you so you have a polite cup of tea with them while figuring out how to decline this threesome without going ‘missing’ thanks to his military skills. If it had been a girlfriend, perhaps a different scenario. But the thing with being a lesbian, is I Don’t Like Boys (Like That). Surprisingly hard to explain to a horny soldier who had clearly been promised otherwise from his ridiculously-beautiful-and-wonderfully-Dutch-kinky girlfriend. Shame.
    Online dating is a minefield, and I think I’m better off trying to find someone in ‘real life’.
    Wish me luck. I may be gone for a very, very long time…

  72. I used to have an “OkCupid” account, I believe back when I was in collage which would have been around between 2005-2006 possibly. Eventually I just got tired of either the arrogant idiots that thought they could chat with me (because of my looks) or the creepy-stalker type dudes would say the wrong thing that sent up red-flags for me to put them on block.

    That being said, I know one-liners like that for any dating site I’ve been on always “vexed” me. Whether it’s the friendly, “Hey, hello.” to “Hey baby,” because it doesn’t open the door exactly to an extended conversation with the other party. Granted, they probably think you’ll look at their picture or profile if you want to know more to try and go somewhere with the conversation, but I think if you initiate a conversation – you really aught to have something better to say than just “Hey sexy” so you have something to talk about to get that Ball really rolling.

    Otherwise, you might not even get a reply (falls into the Pit of Doom!) or if you do, it might not be a very friendly one. You ever have experiences with these kinds of things since you have a stalker account and a normal account to lend more credibility or otherwise to what I saying? lol

    By the way, I commend you for coming clean. I might have found it a touch creepy at first, but the fact you came clean, would have said a lot more to me about your REAL character and I’d have given you a second chance. :) I think I’d kind of possibly have laughed too.

    lol Thank you for sharing your crazy stalker story! XD

    ~Gwen

    • You summed it up perfectly; so many people are too lazy to really come forward with something other than a halfhearted “hey.” And then they expect YOU to start the conversation… no thanks!

      • I’m glad someone else agrees! I know there were conversations like this though where I DID try to break the ice with something more. It never feels or seems easy at all! @_@ ugh! >.<

        ~Gwen

  73. Very enjoyable read! Too funny!

  74. I am one of these okcupid psychos.. I start by saying something no one cares about (for example; did you know Hitler lost a testicle in WWI?) and then I either get nothing, or a simple ‘hey how are you’, ‘good, how are you?’, ‘good’. and that’s it.. Perhaps I should try ghost messaging someone, and then sparking up a convo about this weird dude sending me messages (on my real account) and we can bond over the craziness of me. But she won’t know it’s me.. Or something.. Haha

  75. BritishAsianBlog’s solution sounds pretty good. This is one of the funniest blogs I’ve read. Good job!

  76. I hope you responded again! A response is an “in”, even if he seemed semi-creeped.

  77. This was hilarious and the comments were just as fun. I think most human beings (especially while single ) do things like this. Unless you’re so full of yourself and that’s a turnoff, to me atleast. But i too have a “touch” of the crazy but i say that makes life interesting! If he was the right one, it wouldn’t have mattered. Some things are meant to be. I met my husband on match.com. Looong story but keep at it. Your love is looking for you just as hard as you are them.

    • Thank you so much for this comment! That last sentence kind of made me cry (but that could be because I’m listening to “Stay” by Rihanna at the moment, and it just made for an overwhelmingly emotional combination). Agreed about full-of-themselves-men being a turn-off – no thank you!

      • Awwww. HUGS! It’s true…remember that and just know it and let the universe know you know and you’re ready and then have faith. It’s amazing but it works! I know i probably sound crazy. (no pun intended). I wrote out a list of what my “soul mate” would look like, act like, be like and then i just hid it in my drawer and said ok i know you’re looking for me. Voila, 30 days later. It took me a little longer to surrender and realize it because i’m human and cynical but once i figured it out and went back to my check list, it was uncanny.

  78. “Unsure of whether or not to cry or laugh or scream bloody murder, I did all three.” — What a perfect/hilarious description of an emotion that I know all too well! Sorry to hear about the botched message to one of OKC’s rare gems…but maybe he was an actual creep and the universe was shoving you out of his way. Ya never know.

    • Allie! Thank you for coming up with what I hope is the meaning behind all of this — I need to thank the universe for sparing me, albeit in a very unconventional way, haha.

  79. That was hilarious! I never realized that online dating was such an ordeal and could cause such headaches!

  80. LOL! Hilarious, and I can relate I did the OKcupid thing for a while and also felt like a psycho every now and then. the internet breeds very strange behavior indeed–note that it’s the internet’s fault, not mine (stupid internet).

  81. I love this because I would be the crazy person that does this. I don’t think it makes you crazy. There are a lot of people like us out there and even more who won’t admit to themselves that they are as crazy as us. GO US

  82. Awesome! I can absolutely relate to that. I have to say that option 3 was absolutely the best choice, and if I were a gay guy I’d be all over that response. Fantastic.

  83. Can you join match.com as a straight man from TN, preferably with pictures. I’d like to marry you. This was fabulous. I am just starting online dating and have decided to blog about it – check it out, and my proposal stands, marry me?

    twentyfiveandlivingthedream.wordpress.com

  84. I never found anyone worth keeping through here. At least not yet, hopefully I won’t need to find anyone else. There’s someone I really like at least, I guess!
    -seruki.com

  85. I just laughed out loud. You have a great sense of humor. I wouldn’t go on that site for the world, even if my friends swear by it, haha.

  86. This is amazing. Kudos to you for actually telling him what happened haha. I would definitely do the same thing thinking that I would come off as “quirky” and “charming” and “the one you shut your okcupid profile down for.” But I don’t know if that’s how real life works unfortunately.

  87. Lordy. It explains why during my time on OkCupid I met some nut jobs. If interested, you can read about it on my blog: http://www.lipstickandplaydates.com/

  88. Go, Go, Go Nic!!! I’m on POF now and, here’s a hint, I changed my picture to a black and white pose and am getting so many responses. The downside? All have been tres creepy. lol I blogged about some of my experiences right after I could laugh about them. mariekb.wordpress.com if you want to read.

  89. My daughter has a fake plenty of fish account. She’s 15 and she set it up with a mate to amuse herself and see how dumb men can be (she says she’s 5 foot tall and 150 kilos). So there you go – it can get creepier.

  90. Reblogged this on Wicked Smutty and commented:
    Funny and Witty. Yet, honest. I liked reading it very much.

  91. I love it! Great piece. Oh the joys of dating :)

  92. This is awesome on so many levels. You write very well!

  93. i want a ghost account on okcupid now~

  94. I loved this! I had an OKcupid account and recently got a creepy stalker message… I really wish it had been a not so crazy ghost account guy instead of the genuinely creepy one it turned out to be :( I hope you write him back even with the dead end response he gave…. you never know

  95. love it

  96. Reblogged this on solarenaplaya's Blog.

  97. he he …. U r funny …. at somepoint this whole thing looks senseless , but You made me look at it differently , & in the end I was on your team , hoping the guy would hit reply ;)

  98. I was cracking up! Stay away from these sites… Last thing you want is to end up with someone that does the same thing you do. :)

  99. You will be fine with your ghost account as long as you avoid emailing Notre Dame football players.

  100. Almost noone would choose number 3. You did the right thing, whatever the outcome!

  101. Funny shit! I can’t stand online dating, hence a hot lady sits at home blogging. lmao.

  102. I’ve had my own misadventures on OkCupid, the most notable being when I messaged a guy an hour after taking an Ambien, which, for all intents and purposes, is like texting your crush after drinking a fifth of vodka: a) it’s barely intelligible, and b) the incident reveals a psychological problem you would’ve rather kept to yourself. I had to come clean about it, and the guy gave a response similar in nature to the one you received – an understanding, dead-end response.

    I never had a ghost account, but I would log out of OkCupid before visiting the profiles of romantic interests so that the “so-and-so just visited your profile” wouldn’t pop up on their screen, lest I seem like a complete stalker. Granted, I was totally stalking, but they don’t need to know that….right?

    This is why I deactivated my OkCupid. It brings out the worst of the voyeur in me.

    • OkCupid can indeed lead to the absurdity in all of us! I don’t even wanna KNOW what would happen if I added Ambien into my equation, ha!

  103. died laughing reading this blog…thank you!

  104. No idea how I got to your blog but I’m glad I did, that was hilarious! (In a good way :))

  105. Reblogged this on Confessions of a Nomad and commented:
    This post is so brilliantly written, and hilarious. Made me laugh, a lot.

  106. NATurally Inappropriate says:

    Dude. You should totally keep talking to that dude from the NOT ghost account. Eventually you’re gonna win him over with your charm! Fo’ sho!

  107. Hahahaha omg so funny! It’s okay, happens to the best of us crazies lol!

  108. I definitely am a psycho on OKCUPID. And POF

  109. Vietnamfar says:

    I have been blogging my luck with that damn dating site. Only one blog so far but I am going for a meme theme which takes a lot of time to troll the site. I use it to meet potential friends and I am having a blast!

  110. You say all of the things that go through my mind daily. Life’s a little more fun crazy. Kudos.

  111. You are not as psycho as you think! I’ve come across some REAL kooks. Match was much worse for me than OKC. For now, single and happy :)

  112. I don’t think you’re a psycho. I am so so so there. SO SO SO THERE. I have gone out with some real nut jobs from OKC. At least it isn’t Christian Mingle.

  113. Hilarious! I thought I was the only one doing that! ;-)

Trackbacks

  1. [...] OkCupid is Riddled with Psychos, and I’m One of Them. [...]

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  3. [...] my impossibly high romantic ideals, I’m making an OkCupid profile. Oddly, after reading this amusing post about OkCupid crazies, I felt inspired. And these are the thoughts I thought while participating in the phenom that is [...]

  4. [...] seems that my recent experience as on online creeper compounded with the success of MTV’s hit show Catfish, along with a dream I [...]

  5. [...] he is one of my most favorite blogger boyfriends and I wish he wrote more often. Nic is like an American gay male Bridget Jones. I love him! And you will, too. Go read him.  Did I mention that the Patriots didn’t even [...]

  6. […] (because this), getting-called-fat-related (because this), or OkCupid-related (because this, this, and this, probably). But aside from all of those, here are five of the most bizarre searches […]

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